ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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