i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
