Yo dont text me then not text me
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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