when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
