am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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