There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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