she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
