He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
