so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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