I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize