You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
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