Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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