I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
