Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
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I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
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Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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