I want to walk on stilts...naked
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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