will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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