Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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