apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
