Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She told me I should be a condom model.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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