Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
