i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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