p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
