PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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