someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize