I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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