now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize