You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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