You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
