yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
