Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
