We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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