i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
