im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
