Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize