nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Randomize
