how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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