i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
