I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
