can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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