I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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