i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
