So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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