i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
What a dumb baby whore.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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