its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
