I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
