where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
