is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
