It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
