why didn't you poke me back
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
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