She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
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if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
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i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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