And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
