yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
organizing the empties. That sober.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
