where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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