I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
