that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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