I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
