Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I could have mohawked her pubes.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
