I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
