fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
