At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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