I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
This baby is an asshole
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
