I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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