Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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