just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
