just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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