he wants to bone in the snuggie
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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